Putting Jealousy In Her Place

Back in middle school, when lunch time was everything and blue mascara was rad, jealousy was as normal as brushing your teeth.  I’m not entirely sure how it was for the boys, seeing as they were too busy guessing bra sizes, but for us girls we seemed to just eat, sleep, and breathe the desire to be something or someone else.  Primping with the precision of runways models, we would strive daily to be prettier, funnier, just down right better than our peers.  And of course new seasons meant new trends and god save our poor parents who received the brunt of the financial strain that this kind of longing creates.

With the horrors of middle school rooted firmly in my past, I would love to stand on my soap box and declare that I am so far removed from this juvenile emotion that I don’t even remember what it feels like.  Truth is, I have yet to figure out a way to permanently stop jealously from peaking her bitchy little head out and throwing temper tantrums that a three year old could only hope to one day emulate.  At least now my spastic hormones have leveled out enough to ensure that my reaction to someone’s achievements and fantastic life happenings won’t include me crying pathetically in the bathroom over what I wish I had.  And of course it generally no longer is set off by cuter shoes, bigger boobs, or longer hair.

Somewhere along the way I was told by my new age parents that feeling jealousy towards someone else, no matter how high they are on the totem pole, actually keeps you from achieving the success you are looking for.  While all I probably took in at the time was “blah, blah, blah, jealousy is bad, blah,” I am now starting to believe this statement with a clarity that only comes with a little bit of age and a small slice of life experience. 

From my own obsession with self-help books in every shape, size, and color, I have learned that the universe listens acutely to every feeling I let off and every statement I think or express.  If my reaction to someone else’s success leaves me ultimately hoping for them to fall flat on their face (and knock out a tooth or two), then I have just expressed my thoughts towards success as a whole.  I have also inadvertently blocked any chances I have in achieving MY OWN success.  And of course paying attention to the awesomeness of the lives around me only broadens my horizons and plants a precious little seed of possibility.

So today I am going to send a little nod of congratulations to all those people who are living the life that I want, typing on the computer that I wish to buy, and swimming in that endless stream of financial abundance that I just can’t wait to dip my feet into.   Make room for me- I’ll be there soon.


8 responses

  1. I think if we shoot them all we can just take it and then live some type of Road Warrior/Mad Max type life style. They have that option in Colorado right?

  2. I love your blog Kayla! You’re a fantastic writer and have some really interesting and insightful things to say. I find that most blogs I read from writers our age either talk to much about themselves or tend to preach about things they know nothing about. You strike a perfect balance that says something refreshingly real. Keep up the good work! 🙂

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