Giving In, Letting Go, and Following My Yellow Brick Road

When it comes to starting projects and seeing them through to the bitter end, I’m usually a little wishy-washy. In fact, I’m a lot wishy-washy.

The beginning is always fresh, like breathing in another city’s air on the first day of vacation. This part has me buzzing with possibility, sharing my ideas with anyone that will listen because I am SURE that this business idea/venture/life goal/etc., etc., etc. will be different, that I’ll make it to the top of my Everest with a flag bearing the symbol of my greatness. Every beginning starts with the same phrase – “THIS. IS. IT.” 

The middle is when things get a little dicey. This is when I start to realize that my yellow brick road has been washed out in a recent flood and I’ll have to walk barefoot in the mud to get through to the other side. My problem: I’m not too keen on getting dirty. At this point I’d rather turn back and pick another route that doesn’t seem quite so complicated.

Unfortunately, this means returning to the starting line with a little bit of shame, a dented sense of self-worth and a LONG period of reflection before I find another worthy business idea/venture/life goal/etc.,etc., etc.

Most of us are repetitive beings, trying the same thing over and over again even after we realize that the results are not what we expected or desired. Then, instead of shifting our actions and re-evaluating ourselves, we buckle down and try again – hoping that the circumstances have changed so we don’t have to. After all, why put effort into changing us when we could instead switch jobs, pick a new partner,  or move to a new place? Pick bright new shiny circumstances and we’ll become equally as bright and shiny…right?

Wrong. 

I realized eight months ago that the changes I needed to make were extensive. And exhausting. And so annoyingly irritating to tackle. I’m still in that process. Still trying to make sense of a new existence that doesn’t include all of the things that I thought were so SURE. I’ve become calmer, more at peace, more confident, less wrapped up in bullshit. And a lot of it is bullshit. 

I’ve learned to walk through the muck and the mud without turning back (well, at least not returning all the way to square one). I’m shedding my baggage along the way, one piece at a time.

This wasn’t a project I had intended to take on – in fact, it was one I avoided/feared/loathed all at the same time. Ironically, it’s the one I can say I’ve continued to push through.

Sometimes the things we are forced to go through shape us in more profound ways than any experience we ever choose for ourselves. And being led to face the things we fear the most can provide far more relief then simply never having to see those fears become a reality. 

I’m learning, growing, and letting change happen. It’s a liberating journey. Now who’s coming with me?

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